Assertiveness is a psychological term meaning having and expressing one’s own opinion. It is also a direct expression of emotions in a way that does not violate the rights and feelings of others. This concept can also be understood as the defense of one’s rights in social situations, excluding aggressive behavior. Today, a few words on the topic „Assertiveness in negotiating”.

Some confuse assertiveness with aggression. However, these two concepts are distant.

Assertiveness is based on balance. It is talking openly about your desires and needs, but also taking into account the rights, needs and desires of others.

Aggression, on the other hand, is based on winning. It is acting only in one’s own interest without respect for the rights, needs or desires of other people.

 A lot is said and written about the balance between empathy and assertiveness. However, I am of the opinion that in negotiations one should show an excess of assertiveness towards empathy.

Assertiveness during negotiations helps:

• Present self-confidence, which convinces the other party that they are talking to the right person
• take over the role of a leader, i.e. a person conducting negotiations and giving character to the talks
• make not only decisions, but also take action, look for solutions
• Do not accept pressure, do not react emotionally when the process does not go our way.

Of course, a bit of empathy can help understand the situation of opponents, but it is assertiveness that will allow you to bring the conversations to the end and get solutions that satisfy us.

Below are some suggestions on how to work on your assertiveness;

• Appreciate yourself and your rights, be aware of your own value and do not let it depreciate.
• Take the initiative and communicate what you want. Set goals for yourself and then pursue them.
• Remember that you can only control yourself and your behavior. If you show respect to your negotiating partners and do not violate their values, you have the right to say what you expect.
• Control your emotions. Discuss constructively, rely on facts.
• Be open to both criticism and praise. Accept with humility and understanding both positive and negative opinions about yourself.
• Remember that you can’t please everyone. Learn to say NO and set clear boundaries.
• Work on your voice emission so that it sounds convincing and that your voice harmonizes with your posture.
• Use assertive communication techniques. Use verbs that are specific and emphatically express what you say. Use a construction based on „I” (I would like…, I need…, I think… I’m convinced that…)

Being assertive means finding a balance between passivity (accepting everything) and aggression (hostile behavior). It also means having a strong sense of self-worth and recognizing that we deserve what we want.

Assertiveness in negotiating, but also in personal and professional life simply pays off.

Not only in the area of achieving your goals, but also simple and clear communication that facilitates ordinary communication with others.

Source: https://poradniknegocjatora.pl/asertywnosc-w-negocjowaniu/

Projekt otrzymał dofinansowanie z Norwegii poprzez Fundusze Norweskie 2014-2021, w ramach programu „Dialog społeczny – godna praca”.